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Do You Feel Not Good Enough? We Feel This Way Too…

This moment seems to be perfect. You have everything that one can possibly want: you are healthy and wealthy enough. There is a food in your fridge, you have loving people by your side. Your job could be better but it’s not that bad. You know that many people would kill to have a life like yours, especially those who live in a poverty in the third world countries. It’s not that you are depressed. It’s just this voice in your head that keep telling you that you are not good enough. You could look better. Or be with someone else. You could have more money, a better car. You keep thinking what would life be if you made different decisions in the past.

No matter how hard you try, you are never happy to the fullest. This voice in your head keep ruin your best moments. Even though it’s not your best friend, it is with you always. Why? I am not a psychologist, so I don’t know why it’s there. All I know is that I’ve learned to live with it. In this post you will find out how you can start overcoming insecurity.

feeling down

Our story

Blogging

Every time we have a meeting on Skype with our customer, we got nervous. Even though we are blogging in English, we still feel insecure about our skills. This blog was founded in 2012, so it’s been 7 years now. And we still feel like we are not good enough!

I’ve always felt that I worse than native English speakers, that I am unable to express myself fully in a foreign language. I was worried that somebody would tell me that I make too many mistakes and I should just stop writing. And then, one day, it happened. Somebody said that I am not good enough.

I remember this day exactly. When I was reading the comment on Jonny’s blog, my face has slowly started to be turning red. I felt this burning deep inside. It was a mix of fear, shame and disappointment…

I finally had a proof that I am not good enough and this whole blogging thing is not for me and I will never be as good as people who were born in USA, UK or Australia.

Travel blogger taking photos

Others

Speaking of blogging- there was a time when we were running blog in 2 languages: Polish and English. Every year in Poland there is this big competition for best blogs in the country. We decided to give it a try and submit KarolinaPatryk.pl for it.

Never in my life have I experienced so much hate. Hate coming from fellow bloggers who were mocking us in public. There were hundreds of comments in this Facebook group thread saying that we are a failure, that we are not travelers but tourists. That we should be ashamed of ourselves, that we are being ridiculous with our little blog. Hundreds of hateful comments. From fellow travel bloggers.

We felt so hurt while reading this. What’s even more terrible, they deleted the entire thread  after they finish making fun of us. Thankfully, we managed to make screen shots of it all. We still have them.

Shortly after this situation, we closed our Polish blog down. To be honest, I still feel bad when thinking about travel bloggers from Poland. We are both really thankful that we switched to English only. It’s so much better to be in touch with people from all over the world.

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Money

So far, it’s one of our biggest fears. No matter how much we have, we are still scared that we won’t have enough money. We recently realized, that the dread is always the same, no matter how much do we currently earn.

Our life is often dedicated to this fear- we are working day and night only to save as much money as possible. We are tired and unhappy until we realize our life should not be ruled by the fears but the dreams.

On the other hand, no matter how hard we try, it always turn out that we quote too low for what we are doing. We both just unconsciously think we are not good enough to earn more.

When a company is approaching us, we often feel that we are lucky to be working with them. But the truth is, they are lucky as well. We always work hard, meet our deadlines and do more than what we initially agreed on. Nonetheless, we still feel like we don’t deserve on having a decent salary and we work hard on overcoming insecurity related to money.

Relationship

Let’s go to the love part. I am jealous of Patryk. I just still can’t believe we’ve built such an amazing life. I am afraid of loosing him, that’s why I got anxious sometimes.

I go to this dark room in my head, where I am lonely, he is not there for me. I start thinking about my miserable life and I literally feel how the fear is paralyzing my body. The dark thoughts keep coming to my mind, and I can’t really stop them.

I am playing this terrible tape in my head, even though I know it’s pointless. I have no idea what the future brings, so those dark scenarios are only taking away the beautiful moment I have now. I work hard on overcoming insecurity in our relationship.

Check out this post to read the ugly truth about our life.

Public speaking

We’ve rejected quite a few public speaking opportunities, only because I am afraid of talking to people. It’s the same with video recording, I think I shouldn’t do it because I have nothing interesting to say.

What’s funny, I know exactly when and where this fear started. I was in the high school, it was a weekend training at my brother’s company. The so-called couch insisted that I should go on stage and talk about the products my brother’s company is selling. I knew nothing about them and I told him it’s not a good idea. He insisted, the crowd joined him and I said yes. When I went on the stage I only could say one sentence. It was a terrible experience, everyone were staring at me and I have this emptiness in my head.

Even though I know the reason why I am afraid of public speaking, I still feel I am not ready to face my fear, it’s so hard for me to start overcoming insecurity related to talking to people.

Check out this post to read more about our insecurities.

How to Start Overcoming Insecurities Even When You Are Feeling Down?

#1 Don’t believe in all your thoughts.

Sometimes the voices in your head are awesome. They are encouraging you to do more, travel the world, be proud of yourself. Unfortunately, it’s not always like that. We all have negative voices in our heads as well.

Even though they are necessary and sometimes save us from being cocky, they are not always right. We should never listen to the voices that are telling us that we are not good enough, that we are not worthy having something we need or want.

#2 Don’t believe all the people.

You can hear negative voices not only in your head. Sometimes other people are putting you down. Those energetic vampires will do everything to make you feel bad and not worthy.

It’s great to have friends who will give you an honest feedback. How to select those who tell you negative things to help you from those who just don’t want you to succeed?

The clue is the intention. When you hear something that makes you feel bad, think about the reason why your friend told you that.
If you feel he or she truly takes care of you and wants only good for you, then this advice is probably honest.

If you have some doubts, ask another person about the opinion on that.

Disclosure: Yay for transparency! Some of the links in the article are affiliate, which means that if you book something by clicking on them, we will get a small commission with no extra cost to you. Your support helps this blog going.

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